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June 23, 1999

Hey - just like Squishy and Never, I got a forum. Come on over and add your two cents on yesterday's question: Do you have dorky stories from elementary school? Or add your own new question. All the cool kids are doing it!

Also, a new Real World summary is up. Beat the rush, read it now.

I just got back from getting my hair fixed. I know by now you are all sick of hearing about my hair, so let's just say I look like a normal person once again. No more Kitty Bartholomew for me, thanks. Let us never speak of that episode again.

In the spirit of yesterday's dorky elementary school stories, I would like to share with you all a story about Mary. We went to Friendly's the other night for ice cream (no, not Bataan Death March night, a different night). As we were consuming our sundaes, we got talking about getting mad at your parents when you were a kid, and what you would do. I did a lot of running up to my room and slamming the door, and then coming back downstairs a few hours later as if nothing ever happened. One time, my brother and I decided to run away from home, but we got so caught up in packing the suitcase that we never actually left. But this story isn't about me. My apologies to Mary if I don't get some of the details right.

One time Mary got mad at her parents about something, so mad that she didn't even want to talk to them. This presented a problem for young Mary, because Different Strokes was on TV. And the only TV was in the living room. And her parents were in the living room. And she wasn't speaking to her parents. So Mary came up with an ingenious solution. She made a sign and taped it to her back that said, "Don't talk to me. I'm just here to watch Different Strokes" and then went into the living room and sat in front of the TV so her parents could see the sign on her back. How they didn't just burst out laughing is beyond me. I forgot to ask Mary if her parents remember that incident.

My friend Jen posted something in my forums that also got me reminiscing. When we were in third grade, Jen married Joe Howden. We had a whole wedding ceremony (Jen wore her nightgown) with bridesmaids and everything. What was the teacher thinking? The best part is that in fourth grade, they got divorced. How bizarre is that? And I don't think they were the first in our grade to get married - I remember Kelly Parker and Gary Raymond getting married in 2nd grade. What was the fascination with marriage? I can see the girls getting into it, because it was like dress up, but why did the boys agree to it? The whole thing is confusing. I will have to discuss this with my classmates this weekend.

That about wraps it up for today. Keep the e-mails coming!

Warning: clicking on these links will launch a new browser window.

Randy sent me a link to a funny new column at Slate: Shopping Avenger.

The second iteration of the best computer game ever, Jagged Alliance II, is finally coming out July 15th. I have been waiting so long for this day!

If you enjoyed my story of Mary today, check out her own rendition of the time she split her pants. I love embarrassing my friends!

I spent about 10 hours yesterday working on this site. Really, just learning how to do the Javascript stuff. Feedback is appreciated!